This is why I will never learn chinese

Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den (施氏食獅史 Shī Shì shí shī shǐ)

by Zhao Yuanren

Chinese

石室詩士施氏, 嗜獅, 誓食十獅。
氏時時適市視獅。
十時, 適十獅適市。
是時, 適施氏適市。
氏視是十獅, 恃矢勢, 使是十獅逝世。
氏拾是十獅屍, 適石室。
石室濕, 氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭, 氏始試食是十獅。
食時, 始識是十獅, 實十石獅屍。
試釋是事。

Hanyu Pinyin

Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.

Meaning in english

In a stone den was a poet Shi Shi, who loved to eat lions, and decided to eat ten.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
One day at ten o'clock, ten lions just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi Shi just arrived at the market too.
Seeing those ten lions, he killed them with arrows.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that those ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this.

More info and an audio file of what it sounds like here.

Silent Hill

So I checked out Silent Hill the other day... It was meh.
I never played any of the games or read anything about the movie so I wasn't sure what to expect. It wasn't really that scary or that disturbing and there were a lot of unanswered questions and things that didn't make much sense. I came up with a theory after the movie that I was happy with though.
Here's something I would have changed to make the movie better.

Instead of this:

Replace it with this:

Or even better, replace it with this:
or

Video: How to make a bandaid stay on all day

The japanese are at it again!

During our snowboarding trip, our japanese exchange student friend, Mayu actually showed us this when she was putting on bandaids on her fingers. We had such a hard time cutting the bandaids because the scissors at the chalet were so crappy.